Well, I’ve been engaged now since Christmas Day and we’re starting to get a bit heavier into the planning for our Summer 2011 wedding. And all of this planning has got me thinking, which is of course, dangerous.
I’m excited about getting married and making that commitment to the woman I love. Yet, there is a certain degree of guilt alongside that excitement. Maybe guilt isn’t quite the right word, but here goes my attempt at an explanation…
Why do I deserve to get married to the woman I love, while so many people in this country (and world) are not able to marry the person they love simply because they are of the same sex? Am I more deserving of marriage? Does my heterosexual relationship really hold more validity? Is it more significant?
I am entirely certain that the answer to those last three questions is no. And here is the thing; the only people who should be able to decide if homosexual marriage is legal are those who claim that identity. I’ve come to that conclusion. Why? Because they are the people who are affected by such a law. What right does a heterosexual person have to judge or say that a homosexual relationship is not as valid of a relationship? Absolutely none.
Am I taking this too far? Maybe. But the more I think about this issue, the more it upsets me. That our country and many of our religions will not equally recognize the love between two people who are homosexual, is a gross violation of human dignity. It is a violation of their rights and it undermines the entire institution of marriage. I can speak for some denominations of Christianity at least (Catholicism in particular), and say that the Church’s stance on gay marriage is an affront to the person whom the Church claims to follow. Jesus’ love has no limits, no exclusions, no boundaries. That is the Jesus whom I follow.
Though I am quite upset to call myself Catholic while my Church ignores the inclusivity that Jesus preached, and though I am distraught to call myself an American while much of my country ignores its promise of equality, my feelings are diminutive when compared to the feelings of homosexual people. I can only imagine their struggle and their pain. I can and will advocate for their cause. But they own this cause and, when it comes down to it, it is only their voices that should hold any weight on the matter.