Getting Married

0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Google+ 0 0 Flares ×

Well, I’ve been engaged now since Christmas Day and we’re starting to get a bit heavier into the planning for our Summer 2011 wedding. And all of this planning has got me thinking, which is of course, dangerous.

I’m excited about getting married and making that commitment to the woman I love. Yet, there is a certain degree of guilt alongside that excitement. Maybe guilt isn’t quite the right word, but here goes my attempt at an explanation…

Why do I deserve to get married to the woman I love, while so many people in this country (and world) are not able to marry the person they love simply because they are of the same sex? Am I more deserving of marriage? Does my heterosexual relationship really hold more validity? Is it more significant?

I am entirely certain that the answer to those last three questions is no. And here is the thing; the only people who should be able to decide if homosexual marriage is legal are those who claim that identity. I’ve come to that conclusion. Why? Because they are the people who are affected by such a law. What right does a heterosexual person have to judge or say that a homosexual relationship is not as valid of a relationship? Absolutely none.

Am I taking this too far? Maybe. But the more I think about this issue, the more it upsets me. That our country and many of our religions will not equally recognize the love between two people who are homosexual, is a gross violation of human dignity. It is a violation of their rights and it undermines the entire institution of marriage. I can speak for some denominations of Christianity at least (Catholicism in particular), and say that the Church’s stance on gay marriage is an affront to the person whom the Church claims to follow. Jesus’ love has no limits, no exclusions, no boundaries. That is the Jesus whom I follow.

Though I am quite upset to call myself Catholic while my Church ignores the inclusivity that Jesus preached,  and though I am distraught to call myself an American while much of my country ignores its promise of equality, my feelings are diminutive when compared to the feelings of homosexual people. I can only imagine their struggle and their pain. I can and will advocate for their cause. But they own this cause and, when it comes down to it, it is only their voices that should hold any weight on the matter.



Author: John Abdulla

Share This Post On

1 Comment

  1. I know John and Bethany will pray and be led by the Spirit to know where to worship God together re: making their vows and sustaining them.

    I support John in privileging the voices of GLBT persons. And, I do think ALL of our voices matter.

    Check out the wonderful voices in Fortunate ~ an organization of the Catholic families with children who are GLBT.

    For me, in chosing the Spirit of Life (// as my Sunday place of worship does not stop me from daily Mass and Rosary in more traditional Catholic parishes. These boundaries are invisible to God, I believe. Rather, it is the boundaries of exclusion/inclusion within my heart that the all loving God ~ exemplified by Jesus ~ challenges me to erase.

    For Boston area Catholics who are looking for a Catholic sacramental and inclusive prayer community focused on joy and justice, check out the Spirit of Life community in Weston ~ Sunday 5PM services.

    It is a challenging community ~ challenging the sexism and the homophobia, which John so accurately describes in this post. It is non hierarchical in the service ~ all voices are welcome to speak. This is liberating and of course, engaging more self-reflection and response-ability.

    This type of Catholic community is challenging in that it is catholic and relational ~ during the service as well as in the community work outside of the service.

    In saying this, I am NOT saying that Catholic parishes such as St. Eulalia’s are not relational and doing important spiritual/social works.

    But, what I am saying is that the spirit of exclusion is present in diocesan parishes when it comes to adherence to the stated norms of the hierarchy in the Catholic Church. I was brought up to believe that the Pope = the very voice of the Holy Spirit of Christ, and I, too, followed the decrees to the letter of the law, until my prayer life, my love of Scriptures, my love of the Eucharist along with the life that was right in front of me ~ led me to experience the heavy burden that John seems to be describing: the gap between Jesus’ example and words and the institutional dogmas and practices. Excluding women from priesthood; excluding homosexuals from the sacrament of marriage…excluding people I know and love from full participation in the Life of Christ.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Google+ 0 0 Flares ×