Why I Hate the Health Care Bill…

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Here it is; I’m finally admitting it. I’ve been trying to hold it in, even disguise how I really feel. But now I’m coming out, on a public forum (okay in my mind anyway, my blog is a public forum), and I’m laying out the reasons why I hate the health care bill – or at least as many as I can think of at this very moment. No holds barred people, here it is:

I hate the health care bill because it takes away our freedom. Our forefathers had a vision, this was not it. Our freedom must be fought for.

It takes away the freedom of insurance companies to deny me coverage. It takes away the freedom of insurance companies to put a cap on the dollar amount of coverage they give me. I don’t think insurance companies should have to answer to anyone. And now that they have to, we will all lose. Especially the 32 million people who will now be covered by this bill. They are all losers.

But even more important than our freedom, it takes away my freedom. This bill takes away my freedom. What if I don’t want insurance? What if I wanted to pay the tens of thousands of dollars my cancer treatment cost, out of pocket? I earned that money and I can spend it how I please. Oh wait – now I can’t. Thanks Obama. What if I don’t want insurance because I don’t want health care at all? What if I wanted to fight cancer with a regimen of Steven Segeal action flicks or a new banana and peanut diet? Seriously. What then? Would I be fined if I denied that insurance? Would I go to jail? They’d probably give me the death sentence. Seriously…I think that’s in the bill. They can execute you if you don’t accept insurance for 3 years in a row – I’m like 90% sure that’s true. Oh, and if you’re old they can execute you too. That is a fact. Once you hit 65, you’re as good as dead. Death row and death panels. Page 324 of the bill. Or is it page 423? That’s another reason I hate the bill – it’s too many damn pages! What happened to going green?!

I think it is page 423 though. Pretty sure. Sorry – tangent. Okay, so another reason I hate this bill: I hate people! Seriously. If I want to help people, I will. But I don’t want to! Population control is a major issue facing our world right now. The more people who get health care, the more likely it is that doctors will give them care and not me! Plus with more people living in America, we’re going to need to hire the people who cram you into subway trains, like in China. And guess whose taxes will pay those cram people? Yep, our taxes. We’re gonna turn into China in no time. Bunch of overcrowded communists, we’ll be.

Which leads me to my next hatred of this bill: socialism and communism. America is the greatest country in the world (at least it was before Obamacare). My taxes cannot and should not help other people. That is un-American. My taxes should only (and I really want to emphasize that world only) pay for our security. We need to secure our borders. I’m talking walls around every border – even the coasts. We can call it the greatest wall of America. And we should invest more in nuclear weaponry. Can’t have enough nukes. We should be able to kill every man, woman, child and cockroach on this planet 2,000 times over. Guns, missiles, bombs, mines, more guns, knives, and nukes: these are the things I’m okay paying for. Medicines, band-aids, x-rays, vaccinations, CT scans, therapy: these are the things I’m not okay paying for. Unless they are for me, and ONLY me. Period.

This bill is an abomination that will destroy a) our country b) you c) me d) your children e) my children f) our grandchildren. In that order.

So there you have it. Maybe one day someone in power will see this and there eyes will be opened to the way real people feel about this health care bill. Maybe then they will reconnect with the common man. But I doubt it. For now that’s all. Check back for later posts on why I hate: welfare, education, poor people, chocolate cake, peace, small furry animals, and our planet.

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Author: John Abdulla

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7 Comments

  1. Haha! You are too funny!

  2. John, so happy you have come around to being true red, white and blue! Someone who loves bacon as much as you do has to love all sorts of piggish stuff ~ underneath that thin veneer of non-violence.

    Let’s just hope that the Republicans can get this damn bill repealed. It is unconstitutional! AND anti-life ~ or is it anti-choice….or somehow it promotes same sex marriage too!!!!

    You are living up to the tenants of your Christian faith, finally! God helps those who luck out at birth! Or who luck out in life! We can’t let everyone get lucky! What kind of religion would that be? Un American that’s what! In this country we EARN stuff…especially salvation! No free rides to heaven in this country!

    Obama tries to fool us into thinking he is not a socialist with this bill. But, you are on to him. Even though single payer health care never had a chance with him, you are right to point out that 32 million more people can have coverage.

    But, he hasn’t fooled you or my very right wing conservative Catholic relatives who are organizing prayer rallies for our country as a result of this horrific health care reform and impending same sex marriages. They are praying for our very souls! So much so that they don’t seem to have time praying for the victims of the priestly touch and bishop’s blindness. Minor affairs when you have the anti-Christ as president now!

    Ubuntu ~ not in the USA.

  3. One more thought ~ and I suspect Cassandra will agree ~ no more coffee for you at Starbucks. You should start drinking tea!

  4. Woo, for a minute there I was concerned. And then I read past the first paragraph 🙂

  5. the next Stephen Colbert?

  6. I am amazed, enthralled, undone, done again, transfixed, filled with wonderment, and basically delighted that you wrote these words!

  7. Haha! Thanks everyone, happy you enjoy. I’m sure we all are making Glenn Beck very proud. Who wants to host the next tea party?

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