One day down and four to go! Yesterday wasn't so bad at the hospital, but I felt pretty crappy once I got home. Today is mediocre. About halfway done with treatment now. Gonna get through this.
Had am interesting dilemma yesterday in the food court though. I had just bought a delicious italian sub from subway, when a man tapped me on the shoulder looking for money. I instinctively ignored him in the same manner I might ignore one of those salespeople at mall kiosks selling useless products – I've gotten pretty good at that.
When I got to my seat I thought about what I had done. Totally ignored a man clearly desperate for some money. I mean who else could swallow their pride like that and start begging in the food court? And here I am, claiming to want to help the world's poor.
I got to talking to my Mom and Bethany about the situation and my guilt, as we ate lunch and watched the man still approaching people. What would he do with the money? Use it on food or, as we often tend to think, drugs and booze? How can we know? And why are we so afraid to talk to these people? I rarely just ignore someone and usually offer some money, but for some reason fear and instinct took over.
The situation really perplexed and bothered me. What do we, who live so comfortably, have to fear? Perhaps we fear becoming like this man – losing our material items, then necessities, and reaching desperation. I decided to ask for second chance. Bethany had half of her wrap left and I had four dollars. I thought offering him food may be insulting, sort of like, "let me decide what you should need".
I got up from my table, seeked out the man, approached him and said, "I'm sorry. I ignored you earlier and I shouldn't have." Next to the man was a security guard who clearly was unhappy. Still, I continued and asked the man what he needs. He replied that he just wants to buy something to eat. I offered him my half wrap, but he declined and told me I can eat it. Then I offered and gave him my four dollars. At this, the security guard got annoyed with me. He said, " you can't do that. He's harassing people." I replied, "No one should go hungry." The man thanked me a few times and I left.
Now I don't share this story to sound like some hero or something. I really hope I made the right decision, but I don't know. It's very possible the money will be used for drugs. But maybe it will prevent the man from further acts of desperation such as stealing money from someone. Or maybe the money really is for food. Maybe that man is Jesus. Maybe my act will make a difference in his life. I truly hope so.
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