A Beautiful Day
Well yesterday was somewhat of a disappointment. I’ve come to expect to feel better upon each day that separates me from the last chemo treatment, but for some reason yesterday I took a step backwards and felt more nauseous. Anyway, no point in dwelling on it because today I’m better. I think I’ll have to come up with a new word for nausea soon though because the word alone is beginning to have an impact on me. The mind is a powerful thing!
Today I went for a drive to Porter Square to meet Bethany and our friend John for lunch, which was great. Driving myself really felt awesome too. I’ve always enjoyed driving, but I haven’t been able to in a while because of all the side effects/drugs. I guess you take for granted that feeling behind the wheel. You’re in control, and these days that kind of control feels especially powerful and good. I blasted the music, opened the windows, drove a little faster than I should, and enjoyed every second of it – happily leaving any worries behind. There really is nothing like listening to music in your car is there? For some reason I can never duplicate the experience when I listen with headphones or just at home. Part of it is being able to pretend I’m Bono’s background singer with no one else to hear me.
That’s all I listened to by the way – all U2. Their newest album, No Line on the Horizon, to be specific. I am a very proud U2 fan-atic. Saw them twice at the Garden, once at the Somerville Theatre just recently, and I’ll be seeing them at Gillette in September, which I’m incredibly excited about (field tickets!!). U2 is pretty much the soundtrack to my life. They’ve got it all. I mean literally, they have it all. A profound depth and passion that is purely unique to them. I could keep going, but I won’t.
July 13, 2009
Dear John,
Regarding the word "nausea" and its kin, I find it helps me to know what it is: "reverse peristalsis." The norm is for your digestive track to flow in one direction, moving it along the journey "down," shall we say. Nausea is caused by the feeling of that being reversed. This is normally a blessing in humans — it helps the body reject bad food, and is a function that horses lack, which is why they get colic and all manner of pain and bad things as a result. So, the "N" word is when the waves reverse themselves. I try to imagine my body correcting the wave, encouraging the normal motion. Now, when I think of you, I will add in my meditation a downward wave to accompany an overall upward trajectory!
more than you needed to know, as always!
Fondly, Bette
July 13, 2009
Yeahhh U2!! Yayy for driving! That must've felt amazing! I can only imagine the freedom you must have felt! I love the bit about Bono's background singer, haha! You're too funny! U2 is amazing though and I totally agree that you can't say enough about them! I can't wait to see them with you in September! It's going to be amazing!! =)
Love always,
Cassandra
July 13, 2009
If I were to try to synonomize "nausea" with neato torpedo words it'd probably be something like "abdoacidoeffervescence." That's fairly real wordage.
July 13, 2009
Hey John! Dittos on Cassandra's comments on driving….I love it too…..I shall always recall Bono's speech and its influence on you and of course the featured speech from Bono in our Advanced Public Speaking course and text too…from my recollection, 2004, May 17th, University of Pennsylvania Commencement Address….remember how he started it? "My name is Bono and I am a rock star…." And, as they say, the rest is history! John, do speeches change people and impact lives forever? For sure they do! The next time someone asks me that I think I will scream….come with me to St. Patrick's Cathedral, New York City, June 8, 1968….the Eulogy of Robert Francis Kennedy delivered by his brother, Edward M. Kennedy, and those words at the end that still live in me and help me every day:
"My brother need not be idealized, nor enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, who saw suffering and tried to heal it, who saw war and tried to stop it.
Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.
As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and those who sought to touch him: "Some men see thnings as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not."
And John, you have done that and you will continue to do that….to dream things that never were and say, "Why Not!"
I'll take a drive for you later.
Hang tough and God bless!
Prof. B.
P.S. I feel more stories coming on…by the way, when I was in NY I saw a neat license plate: "WHYNOT!"
July 13, 2009
John, I really do need to think of you and your strength more often. I can sometimes be melodramatic enough to think that hardships and times of emotional turmoil in my life will never end, but never is a long time, and who can really even make that decision without a definitive answer (and as we know…definitive answers are so very few and far between). I catch myself being somewhat naive sometimes, and I get ashamed of this…but at least I catch myself, right?
I envy your ability to relish a car ride with the windows down and Bono's voice blaring through the speakers. Tomorrow on my half an hour commute to work, I think I wil elect windows instead of a/c. I will leave earlier so I don't become irrationaly stressed out by traffic, and I will play my favorite band's CD a little louder than necessary.
I miss you, John. Can't wait to see you soon, and I am so proud to know you -I think everyone who reads this blog and otherwise is.